Do musicians make good record label CEOs?

Some years back, an artiste got into a terrible fight with his record label over contractual issues. Although he ended up honoring the remaining part of his contract and then left the label, the fight was messy and of course the public got involved and accused the artiste of riding on the label’s resources and then ‘dumping’ the label when he had attained success.

Someone came out later to speak for the poor boy and the explained the real bone of contention that caused the discourse and it wasn’t pretty. According to this source, the boy who had a huge talent but wasn’t given any shot was delighted when this record label picked up an interest in him and was over the moon when they decided to sign him as an artiste that he just went through the contract and signed what he thought was a life changing piece of paper, and yes it changed his life, he had the fame but he was miserable and broke.

The label got 50% of his proceeds while he and his manager, his management team, band mates and himself were left to share the remaining 50%. All this was clearly stated in the contract he signed meaning he agreed to it, so why would he want out?

Using the story narrated above as an example, many artistes are now owning their record labels because most of them have been burnt by this same ‘fire’ and they conclude that being on their own would be more rewarding and gratifying than being under a record label not run by them where the chances of them getting ripped off is high as they would later see the light or rather the darkness in their contracts. Others make this decision after being affiliated with a record label, falling out with them but then can’t get another label to pick them up because they  have been  considered a persona non grata as no one wants a ‘troublesome artiste’. These artists are forced to start a label with little or no business acumen becoming sudden CEO’s. Amazingly, they go on to sign other artists mostly up and coming ones who forever remain in the shadow of the CEO.

There are so many talents who haven’t been able to flourish due to the fact that the label they are on is owned by an artiste. I honestly feel being an artiste is a full time job so is being a label executive and some people just cannot merge both and make it work.

So as an artiste, before you get on a label owned by another artiste, there are things you need to put into consideration. One of them is the fact that your CEO might not be able to run a label and be an artiste effectively not for lack of will or drive but for lack of business sense.

An artiste is always an artiste first before a business owner so his/her career comes before yours. There is almost going to be an invisible competition to get the best producers, song writer, DJs etc and since he or she is your boss, they automatically get first pickings relegating you to make do with second best.

And most importantly, before you sign anything, run it by a lawyer, understand it because you might just be saving yourself a lot of heartache in the future .

I ABSOfreakingluty Love My Sis

While I was watching last year’s edition of the EMMYs, I noticed that 2 award recipients (Uzo Aduba and Amy Schumer) in their ‘thank you’ speeches mentioned their sisters. They went further to describe them as their support system. This struck a chord with me as I can relate to them. Not only is my sister my own support system, I consider her God’s gift to humanity.

She is one of the most precious people on earth. Kind, warm, trusting and loving, I feel she knows when I’m trying to play a fast one on her but she still lets me get away with it. Now that my sister no longer stays in the same house with me, I am tempted to confess all my sins/ everything I’ve ever  done both knowingly and unknowingly to wrong her but I’m afraid she’ll never speak to me again. So I’ll just write a few things.

Growing up, I used to be a little bit happy when my sister she falls ill. Reason is I got to eat her ‘get well’ food. I remember sitting at the foot of the bed overlooking her with pitiful eyes while I munched the meat pie daddy got from Mr. Biggs and Ribena for her to eat and take her drugs. She would take small bites and just pass the food to me and as a good sister that I was/am, who am I not to oblige?

Now that brings me to  this meme,   sister sister    which reminds me of when I wore my sister’s yellow polo out to go to the movies with my friends on a weekday, I figured that I would get home before her so I took my chance but unfortunately, Lagos traffic spoiled my plans as I got back late and my sister caught me red handed wearing her favorite polo.

She was so angry and knowing that I had to pacify her, I used craze cover shame and told her that I was more important than a common shirt. My sis didn’t buy it as she ordered me to immediately wash the shirt. Alas, the gods must have been against me because after I threw the shirt it in the washing machine, I realized that there was another cloth in it and I forgot to take it out. As expected, the result was an eyesore because the color had changed to orange.  Livid, my sister stormed off to sleep.

This last confession I thought I would never tell but here it is.

Remember that earpiece of mine that I said you could keep because only one ear was working? Well sis, technically it’s yours.  I stole/borrowed it from your blackberry pack because I didn’t want it lying fallow. But after 3months there was no use returning it since I had wrecked one ear.

So when you thought your nice sister (me) was dashing you earpiece, that was me returning your property.

Happy Birthday to my Day 1 nigga, second mummy, number one fan, adviser, cheerleader, pastor and mentor. Love you loads

P.S: I insist I didn’t take your black camisole.

Hierarchy on Lagos roads

 

carsvehicles

Respect is defined as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements while fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
Wonder why I’m defining respect and fear? its because these two words put together define hierarchy on Lagos roads.
A video recently surfaced online of a Nigerian actress ‘crazing’ for a police convoy that hit her car. Apparently not done with that, the policemen proceeded to beat her up. Unfortunately, this situation involving the actress is what we face daily on Lagos roads. One would do well to recognize that there exists a hierarchy on Lagos roads. At the top you have any vehicle with siren (even ambulances). Followed by the private car owners, then the Danfo drivers, keke drivers, okada riders and bicycle riders in that order. At the bottom of the list, you have the unfortunate pedestrian.
No one needs to tell you that once you hear the siren, even before you see the vehicle, abeg leave the road. Don’t you notice how cars that are in traffic part like the red sea once they hear the sirens.
‘My car’ as private car owners are popularly referred to don’t generally get the same treatment as cars with sirens, but you can be rest assured that no Danfo would want to mess with you by bashing your car. They can only do shakara as they know deep down in their hearts that they don’t have the money to fix ‘my car’ so they grant you an almost safe passage.
Danfo drivers have the one distinction of being as the worst drivers on planet earth as they can practically make kekes disappear off the roads. Its like magic, they flex their power and muscles on the site of an harmless tricycle as they also want to show that ‘them self senior person’
Kekes are the tricycles on Lagos roads that mistake themselves for motorcycles because the way they maneuver in spaces that cannot even accommodate a ladder. They seem to think they can shrink and increase their size at will depending on the situation they find themselves in. They in turn curse and even oppress the poor motorcycle riders
Motorcycle aka Okada riders are the worst, they seem to be on some sort of high and adrenaline rush. There also seems to be some competition amongst them on who would get to heaven or hell the fastest. I doubt this people get any training on how to operate this machine they just hop on one and off they ride into sunset trying to kill common bicycle riders.
If you thought bicycle riders where at the bottom of this chain well sorry, you got it all wrong because while getting oppressed, they vent their anger on the pedestrians.
We pedestrians are the ones on the bottom of the food chain. God help us from these other crazies.

NOTE: Dangote, Fuel and 911 trucks are on their own lane and are the kings of the road because we’ve all seen some unpleasant situations involving them, like this one.indexii

Battle scars from social media wars.

January was pretty interesting, well very interesting and quite entertaining. And except you’ve been living under a rock, you would see that matches are no longer held in the rings or streets with an audience or onlookers for the later. The biggest matches of this year have been on Social media. infact to be specific, Twitter and Instagram.
Artistes/Celebrities/entertainers have been getting in touch with their emotions and lashing out on these social media platforms and some personal things we’ve learnt about them are:
1) Their talent should be questioned: These people especially musicians talent(s) should be questioned because they can’t even channel their anger into rhyme or something creative and in the now immortal words of Drake, “trigger fingers turn to twitter fingers.”
2) They can’t write good grammar, and their tenses are extremely distressed.
3) People jump into conclusions and misplace their home training.

So in order to aid these online battles here are some suggestions of Armour you should have on before engaging in one:
1) Don’t catch subs that aren’t meant for you. Don’t be overly sensitive and just because you are with a device that can access the Internet doesn’t mean you should always be quick to type and put up stuff.
2) Be articulate: it’s a darn fight, you have all the time to express and communicate, so please do just that and be articulate.
3) Chip in a new slang: what is a fight without a new slang we all can overuse for the next 48hours.The audience is willing to be thoroughly entertained. Tap into your creativity and makeup/coin a phrase or word that would make the match unforgettable
4) Have proof: Don’t ‘cry’ about someone stealing creative work ,if you don’t have proof to back it up. ‘i get/use am before no be property’. Infact, people should start trademarking every lyric/slang of their creative output.
5) Don’t go personal: insulting other people’s families and bringing up their families in a fight that just involves 2 grown (term used loosely) individuals is just downright rude and cowardly. There is no basis for this. Face your opponent squarely not their roots.
6) Come to the battle with your facts (ammunition): this shows you aren’t petty and you know why you are in the fight in the first place. And after all is said and done, don’t eat your words. Don’t delete your posts. The Internet never forgets, people are screen grabbing the posts by the second so deleting doesn’t make much sense. So better think very well before putting up the post. if you have an inkling that you’d end up deleting it, then don’t put it up.
I know the argument is that celebrities (term used loosely again) are human beings and bla bla bla they have feelings to and react to things. But if you can’t handle the heat get out of the kitchen, stay away from social media or get someone to manage your account for you. It might take a lot of work but discuss with your communications team before every post or just use common sense . Don’t be quick to react. You are a BRAND or future brand. Act like one. And stop catching subs that are or aren’t meant for you.
Thanks for the entertainment. Let’s do it again this Februaryonline battles

‘Un’usual things found in a Lagos commercial bus aka Danfo

A picture went round recently showing a screwdriver used in place of keys in the ignition of a commercial bus and it just had me laughing. The improvisation skills of danfo drivers are second to none. When you think nothing you’ll see in a bus would ever surprise you, they just seem to find a way of upping the ante intentionally or unintentionally.
Danfo buses serve one purpose in the life of every Lagosian. Getting you from point A to point B. if you want comfort while you commute, getting your own car is the obvious choice or better yet, use the array of other choices available: Car request service Uber, private car hire services, or even BRT are some of those that come to mind.
Here are some of the unusual things I have observed in danfo buses.
• Improvised extra seat:
There is this space between the driver and the passenger in the front of the bus and for extra profit, they put all sort of things in place of a car seat. I’ve seen drivers use a wooden stool, paint bucket, plastic or steel chairs in fact anything that can hold the weight of a human being. Surprisingly people don’t object to sitting on these unusual materials especially during rush hour. All that is on their mind is getting home.

• Improvised car key:
You’ll rarely see a danfo driver worry if his bus key gets missing. These Lagos drivers have perfected the art of starting a bus without its keys. Items like screw driver and small knives have been known to start danfo buses. The average danfo driver is also adept at hot wiring his bus.

• A piece of wood aka plank
7 out of ten times you would find a seat that is not well positioned or missing its cushion in a danfo bus. This doesn’t concern the driver one bit because they have a solution for it. What they do is find a flat piece of wood (plank) and put it in place of the seat. Damn the passenger and his or her comfort.

plank

• Torchlight:
I’m sure a lot of people have witnessed this scenario in a danfo bus. It’s about 8 pm, people are gathered at a bus stop, a danfo saunters by, conductor calls passengers into the bus, passengers get in, bus starts moving, conductor announces its time for passengers to start paying, one passenger asks the conductor to put on the inside light of the bus so they can get to their cash, conductor brings out a torchlight, yes, a torchlight, puts it on and asks if every passenger can ‘see.’For easy access, the tourchlight(s) now has a permanent spot by getting tied to the roof of the bus. As ridiculous as this sounds, it happens.

• Improvised seat belt
Seat belts are a very important part of any vehicle and perhaps in recognition of this Danfo drivers have decided to always have them in their vehicles even though they may not be what you expect. Ropes, pieces of cloth and belts have been known to be used in place of seat belts.
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What unusual thing have you noticed in a public vehicle? Let us know in the comment section below:

Reasons why we love Kanu Nwankwo

                                                                        

Kanu  Nwankwo has been in the news  lately for having financial issues but he hasn’t let that define him as he has been going about his business and sealing endorsement deals .  Legendary footballer, passionate philanthropist and  suave businessman, these are some of the tags that resonate with people when they talk about Kanu. So despite his financial woes, here are  some  reasons why we love Kanu:

  1. He played for the National team: been part of the National Football team automatically makes you a National Hero and makes you a superstar in your own right. Plus you get points if you can really play.
  1. Despite his heart condition, he braved all odds and became a successful footballer: Kanu’s heart condition was revealed to Nigerians in 1996 and we just fell more in love with the young man who beat all odds and defiled all circumstances.
  1. He started the Kanu heart foundation to help underprivileged kids with heart conditions: Due to his heart condition, he was inspired to fund and also source for funds to help kids whose parents couldn’t afford medical bills to help correct their heart conditions. He has helped over 2000 kids to date. Who doesn’t like a dude with a big heart?
  1. He won African footballer of the year: Kanu won the coveted title twice in 1996 and 1999.Making him the first Nigerian to attain that feat and also the last Nigerian  to win that award till date.
  1. He married a Nigerian: Due to the fact that when most of our athletes ‘árrive’, that is go abroad to start their professional careers, the girls back home suddenly become unattractive to them but this is not the same with Kanu, he married a beautiful damsel when she was 18(although people say she was younger).He made us proud.
  1. He didn’t lose his accent: unlike many Nigerians who misplace their accents after a brief stint abroad, Kanu never lost his after his many years overseas. Everyone remembers the television commercial with his kid where Kanu had the very thick Nigerian accent while his son was speaking like a proper English man. The irony right?
  1. He knows how to poke fun at himself: Kanu has shot a lot of commercials for different brands in recent time. (Kudos to his business sense) but one that would forever stick in our  memory is his most recent commercial for cable TV provider, Star Times. As in, I could not believe my eyes!  Kanu was in a hideous  Father Christmas costume, singing. It was simply one of the most ridiculous commercials I had seen in a long time!  I like the fact that Star Times went another way in using Kanu’s fame to push their product but I swear, it was funny as hell and I hope he was in on the joke. While I don’t have figures of sales of Star Times decoders after Kanu’s Commercial, I expect the decoders to be flying off the shelves because he must have a good sense of humour to go ahead with it.

A ‘broke girl’s guide to celebrating the holidays

images Christmas

It’s the holiday season again, the one we all have been waiting for and  I have mixed feelings about it because I’m broke, scratch that, I’m super broke, but on the brighter  side I am not afraid of over spending or a ‘dry’ beginning of the new year due to over spending because I don’t even have anything to spend.

Regardless though, I have told myself that I must have fun. Money must not dictate the tone of this holiday. So  here’s my plan: I will  attach myself to family and friends and just conveniently appear at their front  doors when they are going for that ‘dinner’ ‘movie’ or ‘ just drinks.’ Whatever it is, I’m down. Update DPs and social media at your own risk because I intend to show up where you are and say ‘taadaa’ with a very cute smile you can’t turn me back now.

Talking about showing up unexpectedly, there are two places I’ll probably never show up at no matter how good the invitation.

1) Clubs

I’ve had not so nice experiences that I’ve finally given up clubbing; my 1st experience got me slapped by a drunken specimen,the place was so stuffy and crowded my dress was drenched  in cigarette smoke. Alcohol was spilled on me and I was almost lit of fire due to the  cigarette butt a taller person was smoking  which was close to my synthetic weave. I was so unhappy with a first experience I swore that my 2nd time won’t be a repeat, I then  armed myself with an helmet and off I went with a friend. This time  was better and I thought the night couldn’t go wrong until I realised my ‘friend’ was nowhere in sight and I had been forgotten, left behind. I had to take a cab that costs my monthly allowance home. Ever since then, I’ve learnt my lesson. No more to be seen at the doorstep of a ‘dance house.

2) Boat Rides

Now to my experience with boat rides, my first attempt was 2yrs ago when friends invited me to a private beach during the festive season. I already had doubts about the boat trip because immediately I informed my mum about it; she started giving me reasons why I should not go in her true superstitious fashion but I ignored and off I went to have a good time. Due to Lagos traffic, we got to our destination really late but we didn’t care, we just wanted to turn up. We weren’t quite done with the partying but the sun had set and we decided to get out of there, thankfully there was one more boat available and that was when the drama started. The same  boat ride that got my adrenaline wild while going to the beach was beginning to feel a little bit different and I realised why; It was dark  and I was AFRAID. I’ve heard of people who left from Ikorodu to the Island by boat and ended up in Badagry due to bad weather and this was beginning to look like a scene from a movie with my mother’s voice echoing in my thoughts as I felt every bump,sea wave and I immediately prepared for the worst for what felt like 3hours(it was only 20mins) we finally got back to land and I told myself NEVER AGAIN.